What I Did for Laughs – Kathryn Yuen

Paddington RSL, 

2010 Mardi Gras, 

FUNNY FARM

tix were $30 but I didn’t have to pay with $$

I delivered funny ha ha words and a blingy blouse

 (had a skirt on too 

I don’t have a Humphrey B. Bear problem!)

ignored my butterflies

or was that intestinal gas

or a full bladder

accompanied by hubbie 

(we might have been the only straight ones there!)

I was proud to have my nervous daughter and her girlfriend along

slotted in amongst Loeb, Nicholson, Ballard, McAmis, van der Stool,

 four others and the bewildered ballsy drag queen MC

house lights down 

spot light up

I’m braver with a captive drinking audience

bolder in front of strangers, not so shy    f u r t h e r     away from home

I assured the full-house crowd all was OK

that this mother from the suburbs 

had it all under control or in her brassiere –

pulled out a bell, promised I’d gong myself offstage if required

‘I’m a footy widow whose kids were all conceived in the off season 

and

as this is an over 18’s event, my ten year son is in the car in the casino carpark

but don’t tell Docs …oh Ok you tell Docs, they probably won’t mind’

‘I’m terrified trying out new material on an  audience

that wears leather, rides bikes, and crotchless undies

as a hetero mum of a gay girl

 I’m not sure if I’ve been a good role model’

I volunteer

‘I have no gaydar’

I remind twinks who have a phobia of pregnant femmes and female genitalia

that a vaginal birth is probably part of their repressed memories

I’m  annointed  a blessed PFLAG waver

p what? waiver?’

I figure when we all

laugh at our differences and sameness,

are  inclusive and respecting, value diversity

that’s community and that lovely moment

 when smiles combusts into mirth and merriment

 a rookie stand-up comedian happy to still be upright 

and not on the floor chanting Ommmm

 ‘ history is doomed to repeat especially if karma is true 

 we’ll all be here again 

 maybe have to pay the ticketed price again 

 if we don’t get it right and laugh this time around 

 oh and the jokes and stories may be much the same

 but probably dirtier’

I invite the crowd to play 

ha Mexican wave style

each individual says ha one at a time 

we can fake it till we really are laughing 

 it’s good for health …keeps us breathing 

 informs us if there is a  need to do pelvic floor exercises 

or if sphincter muscles need toning or 

if we should stay away from gassy food

funny how time goes faster when we have fun

and a giggle