The Max – Andrew Galan

‘Cause Ramses Goo had the Leon Fear,
he’d had the Leon Fear since Gosford
when Battered Sav Gabriel
had laid the Max on Ramses Goo,
well Ramses Goo he’d called Blunderbuss Steve
but Blunderbuss Steve was all
– The Juice! –
while Ramses Goo was all
– The Lemon Tree! –
an’ when Blunderbuss Steve understood
that Ramses Goo had the Leon Fear
an’ that Battered Sav Gabriel
had laid the Max an’
laid the Max in Gosford, well
Blunderbuss Steve hung up.
So Ramses Goo got nothin’ good
out’a Blunderbuss Steve.
‘Cause everyone knew about the Max an’
you don’t want the Max laid on you twice
especially
you don’t want the Max laid on you twice in Gosford
an’ particularly
you don’t want the Max laid on you twice in Gosford
by Battered Sav Gabriel.
‘Cause with the Max, well
with the Max comes the Leon Fear.
Ramses Goo only escaped our exurb with that Lemon Tree.
He left everythin’ else in his Day-Glo bedsit
as he ran fast as those red flipper feet’d carry
past the Imperial Shoppin’ Centre façade
through the intersection of Erina & Mann
straight up the Pacific Highway.