Ode To The Mallacoota Sausage Roll – Rick Axen

Down Gippsland way a legend began long ago

Way before the Victa and the Rotary hoe

When travelers stopped to get their horses shod

To the bakery they rushed to get the breakfast of the gods

The reason for this lack of self control?

A Mallacoota sausage roll

As the years went by the stories grew

Of what this mighty feed could do

Healing powers and added strength

Were stories told in detailed length

The tales grew and gained some clout

Till the government got wind of it

And dispatched some heads to sort it out

A scientific team arrived with collective doubt

Declaring we will quickly sort this out

X-rays performed and samples placed in a jar

Then sped away in a waiting car

They poked and prodded and wrote in a leather book

With shaking heads they shared a disbelieving look

Furrowed brows happened more than once

It was decided then to break for lunch

The meal at the local lasted the rest of the day

Barman Joe said it often happens that way

So next morning a professor stood on the bakery stairs

The whole town gathered muffled talk and anxious glares

He held the leather book with the roll raised high in his other hand

Looking reminiscent of a statue from a foreign land

In a booming voice he announced to the crowd

That didn’t utter a word not even a sound

The results are in and the findings are found

This local fare that people travel to seek

Has amazing powers that are quite unique

It has healing powers of true revelation

To cure the heartiest New Year’s Eve celebration

But the strangest thing that happened by far

With leads attached it has the energy to start a car

It could sustain you on trip across any dessert

Or up and down the Birdsville Track

In fact if Burke and Wills had taken one each

It is my belief they would have made it back

So its mythical powers are now confirmed

Its legend status has been well earned

I declare this icon a national treasure

To be enjoyed by all with tremendous pleasure

So that’s the story and I swear it’s true

Of how this icon grew and grew

Get on down to Coota town

Park the car and look around

Then head to the bakery

It’s part of the town’s heart and soul

And buy a Mallacoota sausage roll